a little different university.

Your Authenticity

May I share a personal opinion with you? I believe that one of the best things you can do for yourself and the people around you is to be your authentic you. Not only is authenticity strongly linked with our well-being and life satisfaction. Being ourselves gives us freedom, piece in heart and a unique, exciting lifelong journey. 

Science on authenticity says that it is rather about “becoming” ourselves than “being” ourselves. Most of our time we operate from our autopilot, the habits we adopted and that are deeply rooted in our subconsciousness. And I would like you to know that it is perfectly normal to find yourself acting from habits rather than your conscious choice. “Becoming” authentic is an ongoing process of getting to know ourselves repeatedly, accepting who we are at the moment and sharing our unique self with the world. ​

Like peeling an onion, layer by layer. An onion that keeps grooving. So, would you be interested to reflect on your current self with me now? Let’s talk about your character strengths, life-crafting and let’s sort what is important to you in this blog!

What if we defined authenticity from what being authentic IS NOT?

Being your true self definitely does not mean suppresing yourself and putting listening to your needs aside. It also does not mean compromising of your dreams and desires. It also is not to please people over yourself and not expressing what you truly feel and think. It also is not feeling like we need to hide some parts of ourselves in our relationships from fear of rejection and avoiding being vulnerable to avoid discomfort. But honestly. Let’s raise our hands in case we do some of these things sometimes. Oftentimes automatically without being conscious about it. I am certainly raising my hand right now. But I am also happy for having a chance to discuss this with you and to brainstorm together about what can we do in our everyday lives to change it. Because all of the mentioned above can manifests in our body as illness over time. I am a strong believer that being authentic is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves. 

But is becoming authentic static? Do we reach the point when we know ourselves well and we are good for the rest of your lives? No. Everything around us changes and we do to. We change and it’s ok. It is amazing actually. So, we can express ourselves some way one day and another way the day after and we can still be very authentic in both cases. The most important judge whether we are or are not authentic are us in the essence. 

But what if we don’t know exactly who we are right now as one of my students asked me once? What if we are not clear about of what is important to us right now?  Most of the times we actually operate from our autopilot. Our habits, that have been conditioned to us. The best thing we can do is to be mindful. Talk to yourself. Develop a good relationship with yourself FIRST and create a safe and loving space to be authentic within. But more about that later!

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How do you benefit from being authentic?

According to science, we know today that authenticity is a powerful contributor to the well-being of university students. It influences your emotional resilience, social connections, overall life satisfaction, and even your academic success, creating a positive and enriching university experience. When we align our actions, values, and expressions with our true selves, it tremendously impacts all aspects of our lives.
 

So. Knowing that authenticity, or being true to oneself, plays a significant role in our overall well-being. How can we define authenticity from the point of view on what being authentic REALLY IS? 

Authenticity has been defined as “the unobstructed  operation of one’s true, or core, self” (Kernis & Goldman, 2006: 293), “behavior that is phenomenally experienced as being authored by the self” (Sheldon, Ryan, Rawsthorne, & Ilardi, 1997), alignment of “our internal experiences with our external expressions” (Cable et al., 2013: 6), “act[ing] in accordance with one’s own sense of self, emotions, and values” (Gino, Kouchaki & Galinsky, 2015: 984), and, more simply, “that sense of ‘who we really are’” (Costas &Fleming, 2009: 356). 

It is an activity of:

1. expressing one's true self

2. making deliberate choices and

3. taking responsibility for them

Authenticity gives us a sense of well-being and engagement in life. Authenticity means being true to yourself in your daily life. It's about living in a way that aligns with your values and beliefs, and staying genuine despite outside pressures to fit in. It can also be the idea of being the author of your own life, creating a unique identity while managing how others see you in social situations.

But now, would you be interested in strengthening your authenticity?

Here are some aspects of how authenticity contributes to your well-being, dear student:

Enhanced Mental Health and Well-being

There is a lot of strong evidence that authenticity contributes to our overall health. Authenticity is associated with lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. One of the many reasons might be that when we feel free to express our true thoughts and emotions, it reduces the cognitive dissonance. That uncomfortable feeling when our actions don’t match our believes. When we act out from a habit, and we down deep feel like this is not us. Which as a result might contribute to mental health challenges.

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Improved Relationships

Authentic relationships have been repeatedly recorded as the most important contributor to university students’ well-being according to student self-evaluation.   Our authenticity fosters genuine connections with others. People are more likely to form meaningful and supportive relationships when they are true to themselves and to others. Authenticity encourages us to have open communication, to be vulnerable and understanding, leading to stronger bonds with people in our lives. And as a bonus, being authentic helps us feel more connected to our environments and communities.
 

Increased Self-Esteem

Feeling more confident is one of the most welcome “side effect” of authenticity according to my students. When we discuss what authenticity gives us, they love to say freedom and self-esteem. How does it happen? Embracing our true self helps us to create a positive self-image. Accepting and expressing who you are, without pretense, fosters self-respect and a sense of worthiness. And it contributes to higher self-esteem as a result.
 

Freedom

I cannot forget freedom. My students would not forgive me :-). When we invest time into getting to know ourselves by for example journaling about our thoughts, emotions, causes of those emotions, our values and what is important to us, we become clear on who we are and what we want from life. We rather focus on our inner world; our peace and trueness rather than what people think of us. We don’t have to pretend who we are to make people like us, because we like us. And to honor ourselves, we make decisions for us, not others. And that feels very free.
 

Better Decision-Making

When we are authentic, we tend to make decisions aligned with our values and goals, resulting in choices that contribute positively to our overall well-being. This authenticity-driven decision-making process enhances a sense of control and agency. Which, as a result, feeds our self-esteem and intention to be true to ourselves. 
 

Resilience

I am sure you can agree from your own experience. Authenticity contributes to our overall and emotional resilience. When facing challenges, when we are authentic, we are better equipped to cope with adversity, as we can draw strength from our true selves.
 

Greater Life Satisfaction

Authentic students tend to experience and report a greater sense of fulfillment and life satisfaction. Living in alignment with your values and beliefs provides a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in your everyday life.

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Energy Conservation

We all learned to deny ourselves in certain degree throughout our lives. As kids in our families, at schools, in our workplaces or even in some friendships. To be accepted, to be liked or even to simply be not punished and safe. But pretending to be someone we are not can be mentally and emotionally exhausting. Embracing to be as we are now allowing us to conserve energy that might otherwise be spent on thinking what to say, how to behave, how to look and even how to think. Shift your energy from overthinking what to say or do to look great to autentically expressing what is here and now. No matter how it lands, trusting that your authentic expression will connect you to the right people and right opportunities. Your daily energy will increase and become available for you to use it for creating the life you want.

So, let’s have a look at how we can gain a bit more of our authenticity and let me share with you some tips now!

• Look yourself in your eyes in the mirror and tell yourself you appreciate yourself. This might feel weird at first, but you deserve your own love as much as people in your life.

• Write yourself a letter and tell yourself what you appreciate about yourself. Bigger or small things. Everything counts. Then either read the letter you wrote or don't. Both will work well. Write down a list of things that are important to you. Then look at the list and highlight those that are special to you. Take this as an invitation to invest your time into those things.

• Try to make more time for your hobbies and passions. They make us feel alive and joyful. Expressing what we really think or feel might be hard. Don't beat yourself if you catch yourself thinking one thing and saying another. We all do that. Acknowledge yourself for being aware of it. It is a great part of you practicing being authentic.

• Taking responsibility might feel scary sometimes. Anytime you decide to be responsible for your actions, acknowledge your own bravery please.

• Being vulnerable means sharing our true selves with the world even though we might fear rejection. E.g. We show how we feel, or we say something that we know might not be popular or seen as “cool”. If you witness someone to be vulnerable, try not to judge them and try to appreciate them for being real with you.

• Setting boundaries might feel hard, especially if we are not used to doing that. But we can start small by simply saying “No, thank you” or “I am not feeling like doing that” a little more often.

• If there is something you would like to express but you would also like to be polite, be nice, kind but also expressing yourself the way that does not change the meaning of what you would like to say. E.g. if you feel like not going out, don't say yes immediately. Instead pause for a second and say something like “It sounds fun, but I don't feel like doing this today. Maybe next time!”

• Please don't suppress your negative emotions. Instead ask yourself “Why am I feeling this way? What are my emotions trying to tell me?” and try to act on them if possible.

References:

Kočí, J. (2024). Building Well-being of University Students. Praha: Univerzita Karlova, Pedagogická fakulta. ISBN 978-80-7603-506-5.

Koci, J. (2023). How to build well-being in university and college students – Methodology of academic well-being promotion. Prague: Charles University. ISBN: 978-80-87489-38-3.